One day there was four nuns at confessional. The first nun said, "Forgive me, father, for I have sinned." He asked how. She said, "I saw a man’s private part." He told her to wash her ...
A lady noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach.Thinking he was trying to weigh less with this maneuver, she commented, "I don’t think that’s going to help." ...
A young man went shopping. He bought a small can of corn, a small can of tuna(金枪鱼), a small jar of mayo(蛋黄酱), a small lemon and a very small box of teabags. When he came to the counter the girl at the cashreg...
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet. Patient: I know. But you are standing on my foot! 牙医：请不要再叫了，我都还没有挨着你的牙齿啊! 病人：但是，亲，你可知道，你踩到我脚了!...
A guy walks up to a girl in the bar and asks her if she wants to play magic. She asks, "How so?" He replies, "We go to my house, we screw and then you disappear!" you were the only one her...
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself. Tommy: That’s too bad. How did that happen? Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won. 汤...
The soldier was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back. He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he cou...
"Your Honor, I want to bring to your attention how unfair it is for my client to be accused of theft. He arrived in New York City a week ago and barely knows his way around. What’s more, he only speaks a...
The policeman arrived at the scene of an accident to find that a car had struck a telephone pole.Searching for witnesses, he discovered a pale, nervous young man in work clothes who claimed he was an eyewitness. Ex...
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning he turned up because he was too hot. Then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half ...
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog.He watched the game in a...
A boy comes running home from school and he says to his mom, "Mommy, I just lost my virginity!" His mom sent him to his room and said, "Wait until your father deals with you." His father com...
Once there was a blind. One day when he was walking, he stepped the head of the dog who was sleeping. The dog barked for a while. The blind man went on for miles, this time he stepped the other dog's tail, so t...
When his wife was expecting their third child, a father decided to tell his two sons, ages seven and nine, the facts of life. He checked out several books from the library on how parents should approach the subject...
Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn’t make a sound. Mary: Of&nbs...
be美学： he也就当时那一下子能感慨感慨真好啊，但be了才会意难平念念不忘，那种血里带肉的cp嗑得人撕心裂肺，be的越心碎我越爱。 ——某博@语文指挥中心